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Each day, 1000’s of students refuse to go to school for fear of the physical or verbal aggression they will receive at the hands of a bully. It goes beyond the physical, unfounded rumours and cyber-bullying are just as damaging and just as dangerous.
==> The Bully Solution <==
Bullying is basically a form of aggression directed by one or more people towards another person. The victim is oftentimes smaller, more passive, and not prone to fight back, basically a perfect target for a bully.
Bullying may take physical or verbal, from punching, shoving, kicking and holding to stealing or breaking a student's belongings. Or using words instead of fists, but the aftereffects may be just as destructive.
Verbal abuse may involve threats, insults, sarcasm, name-calling, slurs, put downs, ridicule or spreading rumours.
Cyber bullying is on the rise, it occurs through use of e-mail, mobile phones, text messages or social network sites to intimidating or threatening other students.
Bullying often crosses into harassment, that is continued abuse or threats made as the result of a person's specific characteristic, such as race, sex, or physical or mental disability.
It’s important to remember that Bullies are basically cowards. They will never pick on someone who is their size or larger, and they will not provoke someone who is likely to fight back or mount any sort of defense. They are counting on the passiveness of their victims to ensure their successful abuse or threats.
In addition, standing up to a bully almost always means the bully will back down, even if the bully is physically larger or stronger than the victim. Remember though that bullies often surround themselves with hangers-on, and one person standing up against a group might not be the wisest choice.
If you suspect your child is being bullied, talk to them, give them a chance to open up about their experiences at school each day. No doubt at first they will be reluctant to talk about, it is a source of embarrassment for them. But be sure to keep those lines of communication open and make them feel comfortable coming to you with their problems.
Resist the urge to confront the bully or the bully's parents straight away. This will do nothing to increase your child's self-esteem and may only make things worse. You may however, wish to let school officials know what is going on so that they may keep an eye on the situation.
Some parents enroll their children in Martial Arts to develop more assertiveness, higher self-esteem, as well as the ability to successfully defend themselves.
==> The Bully Solution <==
There is also nothing wrong with walking away from a bullying situation, and your child needs this affirmed. The child can tell the bully to leave him alone, or come up with a snappy retort at whatever the bully says. Sometimes humour goes a long way in diffusing unpredictable situations.
Children should also be told that it’s perfectly acceptable to inform an adult if they witness another child being bullied. One should never stand idly by, allowing the abuse of another person to go unchallenged.
Likewise, bullies need to be told that their behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Ongoing bullying behavior may result in psychological treatment or in many cases detention or other discipline.
Bullying is commonly considered as a problem amongst boys, but girls are just as capable of bullying. Girls tend to be less physical in bullying, choosing instead to intimidate through seclusion or gossip.
Bullying will never completely go away. There’ll always be those who feel that mistreatment, abuse, and threats of violence being the better way to get ahead. However it can be handled in a manner by which all parties involved may benefit.
Each month we hold Free Self Defence Courses in Rugby.